True Feelings Escape
by XxEternalHeartsxX
Summary: Amy has flashbacks which make her fall for Ricky. He has the same feelings for her that she does, and when Ben admits what happened, Amy comes crumbling down.. only to be picked back up by the person she knows she shouldn't trust, but does anyway- Ricky.
1. Flashbacks

This story is starting based on the preview from the upcoming episode "A New Kind of Green". (Although it's mainly centered around Amy and Ricky.) So tell me what you think about this story, and I'll be sure to update it soon. =D

___

Around eight o' clock at night, Ricky and I stood in the living room, arguing, as usual, after we got John to drift off to sleep. I paced back and forth across the dim room, barely lit by a few lamps that were located in the room, giving off a fluorescent glow.

"Have you talked to Ben any this summer?" I asked, the tone in my voice eager but unsteady as he met my stare the first time since we'd been bickering.

"Yeah, a few times." He attempted to sound indifferent as he nodded and took his eyes off of mine, nonchalantly glancing down at the floor. I said nothing, so he peeked up at me. "I don't know anything about what he did in Italy, if that's what you're asking."

Ricky walked a few feet away from me, but I quickly followed after him. "I know that you know!" I said with an edge to my voice right before he turned around to face me.

"I don't know, Amy," he said calmly, yet with a slightly annoyed look in his eyes.

"You don't know if Ben had sex this summer?" I could feel the tension building up inside of me. I knew he wasn't going to tell me, so it was pointless of me to even ask. Why would Ricky Underwood tell _me_ anything? Although I could see truthfulness in his eyes, I still was not convinced that he didn't hear anything from Ben about it. It wasn't that I thought Ricky was lying to me, I was simply desperate to know what happened with Ben in Italy.

"No," Ricky insisted.

I couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly, I felt the urge to shake him and demand he tell me an answer. Without thinking it through, I threw my hands onto his unzipped jacket and grasped it tightly as I shook him. "I know that you know!" I exclaimed fiercely.

"Hey!" He said, still remaining calm as he put his hands around my wrists and shoved me off of him. "Don't do that." My hands fell down to my sides, and we both stood there glowering at each other.

"Tell me! You know something! I know you do!" I shouted at him, not caring about how loud I sounded. I was furious, although I believed he didn't know anything. I just wanted to be assured that nothing happened while Ben was in Italy, but I had a feeling inside of me that he did do something in Italy. Ben wasn't going to tell me, obviously, so I wanted to find out from Ricky.

"You talk to Ben! You work with him, you must talk to him! Tell me what you aren't telling me, Ricky! Tell me what you know! Tell me! I need to know! I need to know if Ben did anything while he was in Italy!"

"I'd tell you if I knew anything." He slightly raised his voice, but kept his tone even to avoid sounding annoyed or bothered, although I knew he was. I didn't care- I wasn't going to give in. I would keep pressing on until he told me something. He must have at least heard _something_ from Ben.

"Look, I don't talk to Ben, okay? I haven't seen him at the butcher shop. He just came back from Italy a week ago." His once calm face finally turned into a grimace as he pulled his lip upwards and slanted his eyebrows. "What do you want from me? I don't know anything about what Ben did in Italy. Do I think he had sex? I don't know. He might have. Go confront him about it, 'cause you're not gonna find out anything from me!"

"Alright." I murmured, as I wandered my eyes down to the floor. "I guess you should be going then. John's asleep, so there's really no reason for you to be here if you aren't going to tell me anything about Ben."

I took a deep breath and walked towards the front door. I heard him treading behind me. I turned around after I opened the door for him, but he was looking outside like he saw something. His face suddenly had a smirk on it, and I looked out the door to see what he was glaring at. I frowned and scowled once I saw Adrian and Ashley walking up to the door.

Once they reached the door, Ashley came through first with a smile on her face. "Thank you for opening the door for me."

They both came in, and I shut the door behind them, assuming that Ricky wasn't leaving now that _Adrian_ was here. He would stick around to see the commotion. Adrian stood beside Ricky and gave him a seductive smile, and he returned the same smile. I rolled my eyes at them and folded my arms together across my chest as I stood beside Ashley, between her and Ricky. I examined both Ricky and Adrian closely. They looked so.. _right_ for each other. They seemed to be so much alike.

No one said anything, so I decided to break up the silence. "What are you two doing here? Ricky and I were trying to take care of John. Do you have to be in the middle of everything?" Ashley laughed at how upset I sounded, and I rolled my eyes at her and looked back over at Adrian.

Adrian batted her eyes and said firmly, "You think you know everything just because you have a baby."

"No!" I shouted. "I don't." I looked over at Ricky, while tension and anger was increasing inside of me. "Do I, Ricky?" I didn't know what compelled me to ask him such a question as that, he would always agree with Adrian, of course.

He glanced at Adrian from the corner of his eye, but then he pulled up the side of his lip through honest eyes. "Kinda."

"Alright, well why don't you leave then? You and Adrian just get out of my house! I don't know why you even came here. Just get out!" I shouted. No one said anything or even moved. I was getting tired of this. I swung my arms as I rushed over to Ricky and shoved him towards the door.

"Hey, stop!" Adrian said. "Don't touch him like that!"

We all froze and looked at her, and Ricky smirked again. "Why, Adrian, are you jealous? She's touched me that way before." He laughed smugly as him and Adrian glowered at one another, Ricky smiling his crooked smile. "Band camp, remember?"

"Amy's right!" She yelled loudly. I could see the anger that lied within her eyes, and I could see the tension that was building up inside of her. "We should go!"

She headed for the door, and as she stood in the doorway she shouted, "Let's go, Ricky!" She didn't wait for him to come with her- she slammed the door behind her as she angrily marched out. Ashley was cracking up at what had just happened, and I spaced out as I had flashbacks of band camp. Ricky was standing where he was before, with no emotion on his face. He was making no movements, and he, too, looked like he was having flashbacks.

_"Yeah, we could do that." I had once said, after he pulled away from kissing me;_ how naive I was, but yet, I remembered how attracted I was to him. I felt my eyebrows pull themselves together as I questioned my own feelings. _Was I _still attracted to him?

"No, that's not possible." I whispered out loud to myself, but I was still spaced out.

_"I've never done that before." I continued saying, remembering how nervous I felt at that exact moment._

"_Oh yeah? I bet you'd be really good at it." He told me, sounding just as nervous as I was. I probably made myself look like an idiot, having no idea what he was talking about until he assured me. "Making out."_

"Oh. You do that a lot? Make out?"

"_I've made out with a few girls, but only if they're special. You're special Amy." _I couldn't believe that I had fallen under his evil scheme. He never really thought I was special. He only wanted _one_ thing from me.

I felt someone shaking me. I gasped and snapped myself out of it, looking up at Ricky. "Amy." I stared at him, with my mouth slightly opened in surprise, stared to say anything to him as I couldn't get the band camp memories out of my head.

He looked at me with soft, nervous eyes as I finally met his stare, and we stood there both looking into each others eyes. His hand was grasped firmly around my arm, still not moving it after he shook me.

I pulled my eyebrows together as I studied his face closely. He was _different_- he wasn't the same as he was at camp. I could see it in his eyes, and I could have sworn that I saw compassion in them.

"I– I'm sorry. I was out of it. Sorry." I looked nervously around the room, desperate to take my eyes off of him as my heart was pounding heavily in my chest at the sight of him. I noticed that Ashley was gone.

"Where's Ashley?"

"She left a few minutes ago." He looked down at his hand which was on my arm and quickly took it off, as he figured I didn't want him touching me. He looked at me like he was expecting me to be angry- but I wasn't angry.

I looked into his eyes, searching for a hint that he _was_ different. But I was not only searching for that, I was searching to see if there was any reason as to why I suddenly felt this way. I _actually_ felt something for him. My heart wasn't pounding because I was nervous – it was pounding because I was attracted to him. I had butterflies in my stomach. I studied him closely, and although I was frantic and my heart felt like it would explode if I looked at him for another second, I continued to stare deeply into his eyes. He looked back, like he was looking for the exact same thing.

_Did I like him?_ I asked myself. Was there any possible way I could like him? I squeezed my eyes shut and thought to myself, "_You can't be falling for him! Don't fall under his spell again! He'll only trick you just like he did at camp!"  
_

My mind was thinking one thing, but my heart was thinking another. My heart was thinking that despite everything, I _wanted_ him. I wanted to be with him. But then again, my mind was telling me that I was crazy for feeling this way.

I didn't know which to listen to. I was pulled out of my thoughts once again, and stepped backwards as I gasped for breath. Ricky stared at me, confused, worried what was going on with me. "You okay?"

"I- I'm fine. I think you should leave. It's getting late." I started pushing him towards the door, and he opened his mouth like he was trying to protest, but I didn't allow him to speak. I shoved him out the door and shut it behind me. I leaned back against the door and bent down onto my knees. I rocked myself back and forth, my heart racing. I couldn't believe that this had happened. I was in love with him. And there was nothing I could do about. Ricky Underwood would never _love_ me.


	2. Captivated by You

I opened my eyes as I woke up, and I realized that I slept against the front door. I put my hand on my knee to push myself up off the floor, and as I was up on my feet, the blood rushed to my head. I closed my eyes tightly shut as my head started spinning and opened them again after the blood settled. Behind me, I could hear a soft, tapping noise. I turned around, opened the front door, and squinted my eyes. I gasped in surprise when I saw Ben standing there, softly knocking on the door.

"_What_ are you doing here?!" I almost shouted to him.

He widened his eyes and talked as if he was uncomfortable. "Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you! I- I actually wanted to talk to you. Is that okay? I'm sorry, Amy, if you just woke up. It's ten, so I figured you were up by now."

"It's ten?" I mostly said to myself. "Um, Ben it's fine. I'm sorry, I just didn't expect to see you. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well.." He walked inside and walked over beside the couch. I followed close behind him, my eyes narrowed in confusion. "I received a phone call yesterday.. from Adrian, and well, there's something that we need to discuss."

I opened my mouth, appalled, as I realized what he had done. "Ben! You didn't!"

He simply shook his head. "No, Amy. That isn't what I meant." He grabbed my hand and walked me towards the couch, his grip around my hand was loose, and he pulled me down to sit next to him. "Sit. Let me talk to you about something."

I nodded my head and said in a low, frustrated tone,"I'm listening."

"Okay, well Adrian called me late last night, and sh–she said she thinks you have a 'thing' for Ricky by the way she saw you touching him. And-"

"Ben!" I cut him off. "I wasn't _touching_ him in any different way. I was just pushing him out the door! But of course he wouldn't go! You can't listen to what Adrian says! She doesn't know anything. So what? You're going to believe Adrian over your girlfriend?"

"_Listen_ to _me!_" He said, annoyed, as he lost patience. "Amy, I did not say I was believing Adrian. Anyway, that really wasn't the point– whether you touched Ricky in some kind of.. romantic or sexual way. That isn't the point. The point is that Adrian also told me that Ricky told her you were wondering whether he heard anything about my summer. You.. you were _questioning_ whether I had sex. Do- do you think that I would tell Ricky that?" I was looking down at my feet, but there was a long pause, so I looked up at him. He was waited for me to answer.

"I don't know, Ben! I don't know what you and Ricky talk about! Just get to the point." My voice had came out as quiet and unsteady, I was more nervous than I thought I was.

Why did Ricky tell Adrian what I asked him? _Ugh_. I knew the answer to that.

"Amy.. I-" He stopped. His lips were nervously pursed together, and his eyes were wandering around to the other side of the wall, away from me. With his head turned away from me, he continued. "H- her name is Maria. The girl I mentioned before. I told you she wasn't my 'girlfriend', but I'm sorry. That- that was a lie."

"I used to think you would never lie to me. "I said sadly. He finally looked at me. "Now I'm not so sure. So you _did_ have sex? Why did you tell me you didn't?" I didn't even bother to wipe the tears that were forming out of my eyes. I just let them fall.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. "I love you, Amy. I do, but I couldn't wait any longer. I know you're upset. I know you won't ever forgive me for what I did, but I hope we can still be friends, at the least. I hope you will forgive me. I hope we can work this out, but if we can't, I understand."

I didn't even know what to think right now. I wasn't even sure that I loved Ben anymore. Well, I loved him in some sort of way, but I wasn't sure that I was_ in_ love with him. I couldn't believe that he would cheat on me. Why couldn't he wait for me? Why wasn't I enough? I brushed away the hair from my face with my hand, and I looked away from Ben. Without saying anything else, I quickly lunged my body forward and threw myself unto my feet.

"Ben," I said, not able to speak above a whisper, "Please go home. I need to be alone right now."

He nodded and swallowed nervously. He stood up from the couch and walked over to me, placing his hand under my cheek. He gently pressed his lips to mine, and he pulled away within only a few seconds. "Goodbye, Amy, I love you so much. I know you doubt that right now, but it's true."

I stared him with cold, upset eyes, but I said nothing. He took that as a signal for him to leave. With a quiet click of the door being closed, he was gone. _Out of my life forever._ Now I was completely alone, and I had no one.

Anguish and unsought flushed through my entire body, sending a sharp, cold chill down my spine. I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know if I _should _do anything or if there was anything in this world that I could do. If Ben didn't want me anymore, then I couldn't control that. He had found another girl, so I must not be good enough for him.

"But Ricky doesn't want me either." I whispered to myself, bowing my head. I walked over to the couch and sulked down into the seat.

"Amy, do you want to talk about this?" I heard my mother's voice coming from behind me. I jerked my head back in surprise and looked at her. I felt like my heart had jumped out of my chest; it was pounding uncontrollably, but not because of Ben. Because of the same reason it was last night.

"A- about what?" I asked, pretending I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Amy.." She said softly. She walked around to the couch and sat down beside me. "Tell me what happened. I just got home, and I saw Ben leaving. Then I walk into the house and hear you saying that Ricky doesn't want you, either. Tell me what happened, Amy."

I sighed, as I thought about whether I should tell her or not. She already knew partially what was going on, so I decided to tell her the rest, but it was not an easy thing for me to do. I knew that if I told her, I would cry again. And not to my surprise, I _was_ crying. "Mom, Ben.. he– he had sex in Italy. He came here and told me, and well yesterday Ricky was over here. We were arguing as we always do, and I asked him to tell me about Ben, but he didn't know anything. I don't know why, but I trusted him that he didn't know anything. I believed him, but I wouldn't let it go. I kept asking him. So, Adrian and Ashley came over here. I was shoving Ricky out the door, and Adrian said something like _don't touch him like that._" I stopped, contemplating telling her anymore about that. "Okay, so I started thinking back to band camp.. and-"

"Amy, what's in the past is in the past. You can't change it. And if you're about to tell me you think you should be with Ricky just because of what happened at band camp then-"

"No, Mom." I interrupted her. "It isn't that. I started having flashbacks, and I– I saw the look on his face and how he was looking at me.. and I don't know. I just kind of.. fell for him again. I can't really explain it. I'm attracted to him!" I cried. "I can't control it! I wish I wasn't, but I am! I don't know what to do!"

She stared at me as she watched the tears falling from my eyes. "Amy, Ben made a mistake. If you don't want to be with him anymore, that's fine. But don't try to form a relationship with Ricky just because you're confused and.." She stopped, trying to think of a better word. "Just talk to him about it. Maybe he feels the same way."

I looked at her like she was crazy. "Are you kidding?! I can not talk to Ricky about that! I know he doesn't.."

"Maybe being with Ricky isn't the best thing anyway. But I'm not going to tell you what to do. This is _your_ decision, and I won't try to make it for you. Just listen to your heart, Amy."

My head shot up at her. _Listen to my heart._ I smiled and hugged her. "Thank you, Mom." My heart told me that I wanted Ricky. All along, that's the way it's been. These feelings have always been here since the day I met him at band camp. I was simply afraid of being interested in him. Afraid that people would think I was crazy, but I didn't care anymore. I wasn't going to talk to Ricky about it, but I would just have to hint around. I didn't understand the sudden urge to be with Ricky, but I wasn't going to question it. Finally, I accepted it. I was tired of pretending something that wasn't true. I _did_ care about Ricky, that's just the way it is.

"Uh, Amy.." My mom said. I looked at her, confused, but she pointed at the door. Did the doorbell ring? I never heard it. My mother got up from the couch and walked out of the room. It _must_ be Ricky who was at the door.

I held unto the doorknob, took a deep breath, and pulled open the door. Standing there was Ricky, smiling at my presence, with a small smirk on his face.

"Hi, Ricky." I said nervously. I held my breath and closed my eyes for a second, but opened them again to see him still standing there. "Um, you can come in if you want. I– I mean.. you must be here to see John, right? He's in my room if you want to see him." I tried my best to steady my breathing, so that my voice would be even and the words would come out how I wanted them to sound.

"Yeah, okay." He said indifferently. He stepped inside, and I shut the door behind him. He started to walk into my room, but he only took a few steps before he stopped and turned around to face me. "Did Ben talk to you?"

I let a loud sigh. "Yes. He was just over here."

"Yeah, he told me. He told me.. what he did in Italy. I'm sorry, Amy." He said gently. I could feel his eyes on me, but I was afraid to meet his stare. I was afraid of what I would see if I did and what would happen. I couldn't control myself, though, it was like I was being forced to look up at him. I gazed into his eyes, and he had a calm look on his face. "Look, Amy. I don't want to fight with you anymore. I know you're stressing and it's really hard on you having a baby and everything, but I don't want us to argue and fight. We need to get along for John, but not just because of him. Because it's hard seeing you this way all the time. I just want us to get along."

I was surprised by the sudden words he had just spoken. I nodded my head and smiled sadly, and I whispered quietly, not able to speak any louder, "I know. I'm sorry. I want to get along with you, too." I hid my face down as blood suddenly filled my cheeks, causing me to blush. I turned my head around in embarrassment and stood with my back facing him.

Ricky walked over to the other side of me and suddenly asked, "What were you thinking about last night? You know when you were all out of it? What was going through your mind? You seemed to be thinking about something.. it was like you were in a trance or somethin'."

I was anxious that Ricky would laugh when he saw I was blushing, but he never did. He didn't even acknowledge it. Instead, he was looking deeply into my eyes, searching for something like he did last night. I opened my mouth, but quickly closed it. I couldn't tell Ricky I was thinking about when we were at band camp together. _No, _I definitely could not tell him that.

I decided that I would compromise. "I'll tell you if you tell me."

"Tell you what?" He asked.

There was that feeling again – embarrassment. I was constantly embarrassed when I was around him, but at the same time, I had butterflies in my stomach. I didn't want to do or say something wrong, so I concentrated on what I was going to say before I said it. "You know what."

"I really don't." He admitted.

"Tell me what _you_ were thinking about last night."

I figured that he would argue with me and say he wasn't thinking of anything. He looked at me for a second, but then said, his face now serious, "You."

For some reason, I was surprised. I was expecting him to say something about it by the hesitation before he spoke, but I, for some reason, couldn't believe he did. I was speechless and at a loss for words. Finally, I managed to reply to him, but I only said, "Oh."

He didn't say anything else. We both stood there quiet for a minute, but I decided I had to do something. I had to give him a hint that I had these feelings for him. But without thinking, I said, "Tell me, Ricky. Tell me what's on your mind. Don't hold back." Although I felt brave for saying this to him, I was also apprehensive about what he would say after this.

I couldn't look him in the eyes anymore. I was compelled to do so, but somehow I ignored that urge, and I was driven away from it.

"Alright." He said. "I'm thinking about you, Amy. I'm thinking about the way you looked last night, I'm thinking about– everything. I can't get you off of my mind."

I couldn't take it anymore, I was forced to look into his eyes. I gasped at what he said, I couldn't believe it. I wasn't going to believe it until I knew for sure.

Now you tell me." He said. "I'm dyin' to know."

I breathed, clearing my lungs. Ricky told me, so it was only fair. I put every doubt, fear, worry, shame, guilt, every painful feeling behind me and only felt one feeling– Infatuation. "I– I was remembering band camp."

He smirked. But then I actually saw him turn his head, as if by embarrassment. Ricky Underwood was.. _embarrassed? _I couldn't believe it.

"Was it because of that remark I said to Adrian?" He asked.

"Yes." I admitted. "It made me think about it.."

"Well, I'm glad you told me." He smiled, and he started walking towards my room. "I'm gonna see how John is."

"He's fine." I told him as I followed behind him.

We both walked into my room. He stood over John's bassinet, and when he saw he was sleeping, he turned around and looked at me, like he was waiting for something.

"So you really didn't know about Ben until he told you yesterday?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I really didn't know."

I sighed and walked over to my bed. I sat down in the center of the bed, my knees buried into my chest as I wrapped my arms around them. Ricky watched me closely, but then he came to sit at the edge of the bed.

For some reason, I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't figure out why– but the only reason I could come up with was that I _was_ confused by Ben cheating on me, me suddenly feeling something for Ricky, having a baby, and just the mist of everything else that was going on. It left me confused, and I was crying.

I wiped away the tears from my eyes and sniffled as I quietly whispered, "I'm sorry, Ricky."

"For what?" He asked. He swung his legs on top of the bed and leaned in closer beside me.

"For everything."

"You haven't done _anything, _Amy." He told me gently.

I realized then why I was crying. I was crying _because _of Ricky– there was no other reason. Right this moment, I felt that Ricky might feel something for me, but any other time I'm around him it doesn't seem that way. I desperately wanted to be loved by him. I_ loathed_ these feelings I suddenly procured, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't resist it.

"Yes I have done something, Ricky." I cried. "I'm falling for you again."

His head suddenly snapped, and he looked at me, the look on his face showed shock and confusion, but it also showed passion and amorousness and I thought, for a second, that he felt the same way.

"You are?" He asked in amazement.

I nodded, but I couldn't say anything. I felt ridiculous for admitting it to him. I had originally planned on keeping it to myself for a while, but I couldn't help it. The words just came out. But now that I said them, I didn't regret it. We both locked eyes for a minute, and I leaned forward a little bit, and he took it the wrong way. He also leaned in, and our lips connected. Everything felt _right_ when he kissed me. I wasn't afraid anymore. I forcibly kissed him back, shyly putting my hand on his arm. In response, he placed his hands around my neck.

He kissed me more roughly, but he pulled away, realizing what he was doing. He stared at me, not saying anything. His eyes showed that he was nervous. They showed he felt the same way that I did. Embarrassed, I looked down at the bed. My eyes wandered between Ricky and I, and how close we were situated beside each other. "I- I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Ricky said delicately with a smirk on his face.

"I didn't mean to do that.. I didn't mean to _say_.. what I said either. It just kind of came out."

"No, I'm glad you said it." He admitted it. He waited for me to look him back in the eyes, and finally I tilted my head up and looked up at him. "I feel the same way about you, Amy."


End file.
